The Eighteen Words My Pastor Said

That Literally Woke Me Up Again (and may wake you too)

I was feeling a little puny this morning, so I logged on to church from home. It was Father’s Day, and the sermon was aimed at encouraging dads. But as always, my pastor’s words carried universal truths that reached far beyond one audience.

I didn’t expect to be stopped in my tracks by a single line—but I was.

Eighteen words that hit like a spotlight shining on me:

“If you want to get better, you must confront reality. You must tell yourself the truth about yourself.”

It wasn’t even the main part of his message. It was encouragement at the end. But just like that, I knew this message wasn’t just for fathers. It was first for me. And then it was for every client I coach—and every leader, sales professional, or entrepreneur who wants to grow but keeps bumping into invisible walls.

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How We End Up Off-Course: When We Don’t Tell the Truth

We all say we want growth—personally, professionally, spiritually. We set goals, build strategies, cast bold visions for what’s next.

But here’s the truth: Every habit, decision, or action is either keeping us moving forward on-mission—or pulling us off-course.

We can’t move toward a better position in any area of life until we confront the reality of where we actually are.

And most people—especially high achievers—resist that.

We cling to the illusion that our current reality is acceptable. Maybe even admirable.

We tell ourselves, “I’m doing fine,” “It’s not that bad,” “This is just how it is.”

And if that doesn’t work, we compare downward: “At least I’m doing better than Joe Blow with his mess. I’m doing pretty well, all in all.”

We call that perspective humble. We tell ourselves it’s realistic—not prideful, just grounded.

But let’s be honest: That’s not humility. That’s inertia—the pull to stay in what’s familiar, to resist disruption to our status quo, to default to the path of least resistance.

We remain comfortable, unchallenged, and unchanging—and we wrap it all in a cloak of “contentment” or “entitlement.”

And undealt-with inertia is always leading us off-course.

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Without Intention, We’re Almost Always Fighting the Wrong Battle

“In the heart of man, inertia will reign—absent a Disruption.” — F3’s QSource

Without intentional disturbance to our status quo, that negative inertia will prevail.

Because inertia doesn’t just mean laziness. It means continuing in motion without intention. It means operating off-course.

We can’t accelerate toward growth until we disrupt the lie that where we are is “good enough.”

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Our First Job Is to Tell the Truth

One of the first things we must tell ourselves the truth about is where we are right now—our current position. Where we’re making excuses. Where we’re settling. Where we’ve stopped being honest about what we want—or what we’ve stopped pursuing.

We can’t coach ourselves—or anyone else—through transformation until we’re willing to tell the truth about:

• What’s actually working—and moving me forward, on-course?
• What’s just noise—busywork, distraction, or false urgency?
• Where am I stuck—and why am I tolerating it? What am I avoiding because it’s hard?

The lies we accept about our current situation are often what prevent us from moving forward in the areas that matter most.

This is why growth never begins with tactics. It begins with truth.

To grow is to choose intentional forward motion. To seek strategic alignment with our values. To reject passivity and comfort in exchange for purpose, responsibility, and impact.

But we can’t move forward if we’re still lying to ourselves about where we’re settling: where we’ve accepted going off-course—in how we care for our bodies, for our relationships, for our spiritual well-being.

Where are the places we’re not honoring our own desires, values, and goals? Not exercising? Too much TV? Staying up too late? Eating unhealthy food? Drinking too much alcohol? Mismanaging our finances or spending too much? Avoiding the difficult conversation with a spouse, boss, or child?

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We Can’t Navigate Alone—We’re Too Close to Our Own Excuses

Even when we want to move forward, we often misread where we really are.

We drift. We rationalize detours. We make subtle compromises. And we almost always fall for our own excuses—because we can’t hear how convincing they’ve become.

That’s why every one of us needs people around us who will help us see the gap between the story we’re telling and the truth we need to face.

We need coaches, mentors, friends, and teammates who will:

• Call us forward instead of letting us settle
• Ask us better questions when we can’t
• Reflect back what we’ve been avoiding

As John Maxwell writes in No Limits:

“Excuses are success stoppers. The habit of making excuses creates reasons in our minds for not being responsible for our lives.”

And truth-telling rarely happens when we are alone.

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The Disruption We Need: Truth

I have to wrestle with this question over and over—and so does every client I’ve worked with:

“What belief, behavior, or narrative is keeping me tethered to a place I know I need to leave behind?”

We don’t grow because we get better tools. We grow when we finally tell the truth about the places we’ve settled.

And then we must intentionally disrupt the inertia. That’s when the real work begins.

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Here’s What I Have to Keep Doing to Stay On-Mission:

1. Name It Honestly – Where am I right now? What am I tolerating? What’s no longer working—but still consuming my energy?

2. Detach from the Lie – Growth requires me to wrench myself away from the excuse, the belief that the status quo is acceptable. “Good enough” is often the most dangerous trap—it’s really just a map for going backwards.

3. Choose a Direction, Not Just a Task – I can’t just move. I have to move strategically—forward, on-course, toward alignment, impact, and contribution. For me, it’s the intentional, consistent decision to “take the red pill” every morning (a nod to The Matrix).

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Final Encouragements

We don’t “arrive.” We pursue. We fight against stasis every day. We keep telling the truth. We keep re-aligning. We keep moving forward, on-mission.

We’re all leaders in one form or another—of ourselves, our families, or the people around us. Even if no one reports to us, we’re still leading. Others look to us for clarity and forward movement—whether we realize it or not. But we can’t lead anyone to a better place until we’re honest about our own.

Forward motion begins with truth. Growth begins with intentional disruption to our status-quo.

Leadership begins with us.

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Call to Action

If you’ve been spinning your wheels or feel stuck beneath the surface—there’s a reason.

Let’s talk about where you are, what’s been holding you back, and what it might look like to get back on-mission—together. Trust me, I understand.

DM me for a no-pressure conversation. Just truth, clarity, and momentum.

You might also find more inspiration in this post on how to realign before burnout.

#LeadershipGrowth, #OnMission, #DisruptTheDrift #thetruthwillsetyoufree