White-Knuckling Isn’t the Goal – Freedom Is

We were somewhere between tunnel 42 and tunnel 50 when we finally started to laugh.

I was driving along the breathtaking (and a little terrifying) cliffside roads of Sardinia with a dear friend—someone who has always had a fear of tunnels. Especially tunnels combined with winding mountain roads and no shoulder. Her mind would picture bumping one side, ricocheting off the other, and spinning out in a full 180.

But she was doing it. Gritting her teeth. Knuckling through. Staying in the car. Breathing through her discomfort.

We talked about it as we drove. For her, this felt like growth.

And it was—to a point.

The Insight That Changed Everything

At one point, I asked her:

What if the real growth isn’t in tolerating the tunnels . . . but in becoming someone who actually loves them?

She got quiet.

There was something new in that thought—an openness to a possibility she’d never considered.

It was no longer about survival. It was about a new identity.

Could she become a person who felt confident, maybe even joyful, driving through tunnels? Not today. Not tomorrow. But maybe someday.

The moment she allowed for the possibility, something shifted.

Where It Gets Real (and a Little Funny)

I told her how my parents had always made a game out of tunnels when I was a kid. We’d honk the horn, shout, or hold our breath and cheer. They had made tunnels fun—so I’d never learned to be afraid of them.

I suggested a baby step: What if she set a goal to drive through 12 or 24 tunnels this year, just practicing the thought that she could feel calm, focused, and safe?

The next two days?

We drove through 78 tunnels.

We couldn’t help but laugh. It was like God fast-tracked the lesson: “You don’t have to fear what you’re becoming.”

The Core Question

This experience made me think of how often we white-knuckle our way through life.

Not just behind the wheel, but in business. In leadership. In relationships. In conversations. In our own minds.

We tell ourselves we just have to get through it.

But what if growth isn’t just getting through? What if it’s believing that you could actually become someone who relishes and delights in what once caused you angst?

Not overnight. Not perfectly. But possibly.

And if you don’t allow for the possibility, there’s no path to grow into it.

The Takeaway

White-knuckling can be a sign of strength. But becoming someone new? That’s transformation. Take a minute to reflect:

Where are you pushing through—gritting your teeth and tolerating?

What would shift if you started asking: Who do I want to become?

And could you allow for the possibility that you could love what currently scares you?

What About You?

If you’re ready to stop just “getting through it” and start becoming the person you were meant to be—let’s talk.

Whether in leadership, business, or your own personal growth journey . . . you don’t have to white-knuckle your way forward.

Send me a message and let’s explore what’s possible.